We’re continuing in our February series: 4 Strengths of a Wise Wife. Last week we looked at the strength of intimacy. Today? It’s all about being beautiful.
There are two ways a woman can feel beautiful. One way she can be beautiful. A wise wife knows what it means to be beautiful.
Seeking Beauty from Men
Women who seek praise and affirmation of her beauty from outside her family circle (her husband and children) are seeking the feeling of beauty. She uses charm and physical appearance.
You’ve seen this type of woman. She dresses just a little more provocatively than she should, especially on a night out with “just the girls”. At summertime her bathing suit gets just a tad more revealing. She flirts with a sly smile or light touch with another man, but just enough to make it fun and “harmless.”
What this woman is doing is seeking the feeling of beauty, based on physical appearance and charm, from other men and women, not from her husband and children.
She’s not taking the time to be beautiful. Instead, she’s going away from her family to feel beautiful from the praise of others.
It’s easier this way. To darken the eyeliner, show a little more cleavage, be “fun” and admired. This brings quick gratification. Quick feelings of knowing what it’s like to feel beautiful, admired, adored.
Don’t buy into the message that more make-up, more cleavage, and a charming personality equals a beautiful woman. The truth is it equals a woman who is desperate to feel beautiful.
Every since we were little girls we’ve played dress-up, draped our necks with our mother’s necklaces, and pranced around the house in high-heels. There is something so deep within us that yearns to know we’re beautiful.
Too many of us are striving to keep up with the idea that a perfect face, skinny waist, and the click of high-heels are making us as beautiful as we felt when we were 2 years old.
Seeking Beauty from Your Man
Scripture says, Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
In other words, fearing the Lord is how a woman becomes beautiful and stays beautiful, even in her older age. Women aren’t born beautiful. They’re made beautiful by their choices and actions. God’s hand is upon this as He shapes us and molds us to become more like Him.
2 Corinthian 3:18 says, And the Lord–who is the Spirit–makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.
A woman who knows that beauty results from a heart transformation from the hand of God knows what it means to be beautiful for her man instead of men. She seeks affirmation for her beauty based upon her actions and service to her man, her children, and her God.
Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. (Proverbs 31:31)
So what exactly does a woman who is truly beautiful for her man, her children, and her God do? Let’s look together at what is described as this virtuous woman from Proverbs, chapter 31.
“the Lord” (31:30)
“her husband” (vv.11-12, 23, 28)
“her sons” (v.28; cp. vv. 1-9, 15, 21, 26-27)
“her household” (vv. 15, 21, 27)
“her maid or household workers (v.15)
“the poor: (v.20)
“the needy (v.20)
She shops for the best quality she can afford (vv.13-14, 22, 24)
She “works with willing hands” (v. 13; cp. “labor,” v. 31)
She provides clothing for her household and herself (vv.13, 19, 21-22)
She gets up early to make sure everyone has food for the day (v.15)
She ensures her family does not run our of supplies and prepares ahead for harsh circumstances (vv.11, 18, 21-25)
She carefully invests her money and works to profit from her investment (vv.16, 18, 24)
She helps meet the needs of the poor (v.20)
She “watches over the activities of her household” (v. 27)
Consistent (v.12, 18)
High Standards (vv. 13, 16)
Industrious and Productive (vv.13-16, 19, 22, 24, 27)
Initiative (vv.16, 22, 20)
Serves (vv. 15-20)
Strong (vv.17, 25)
Holds Honor (v. 25)
Compassionate (v. 20)
Has confidence instead of worrying about the future (vv. 21, 25)
Uses wise words and instruction spoken with love (v.26)
“She is far more precious than jewels” (v.10)
“Her sons rise up and call her blessed” (v.28)
“She is trusted, praised, and prized by her husband” (vv.11-12, 28-29)
The community’s respect for her husband is enhanced (vv.23, 31)
She “will be praised” (v.30)
She deserves “the reward for her labor” (v.31)
She is known and receives praise for “her works” (v.31)
Wow! Being a beautiful woman is more simple than we make it to be. Simple acts of caring and loving our family and our God are enough to make a woman beautiful. Why do we try SO hard in SO many different ways to be beautiful?
Now before you go and think you’ve messed up too much or you’re already raised your children and it’s “too late,” let’s look at what God says about grace:
Every morning is a fresh start.
Do you have a 5 year old? You still have a chance to be beautiful to that 5 year old.
Do you have a 15 year old? You still have a chance to be beautiful to that 15 year old.
Do you have a 50 year old? You still have a chance to be beautiful to that 50 year old.
Children are always looking up their parents to model strength and wisdom and beauty, no matter how old they get.
Have you been married 5 years? You still have a chance to be beautiful to your man.
Have you been married 15 years? You still have a chance to be beautiful to your man.
Have you been married 50 years? You still have a chance to be beautiful to your man.
You always have a chance to be beautiful to God.
Women desperately seeking to feel beautiful can in fact be beautiful. No matter how big your mistakes or how many times you’ve failed, you get to put two feet on the ground every morning and try, try, try again and again.
Your efforts are being seen and heard. You are beautiful.
Here are this week’s chapters to S.O.A.P.
Monday (today): Proverbs 31
Tuesday: Proverbs 14
Wednesday: James 1
Thursday: Romans 4
Friday: 2 Timothy 1
Daily quiet time can be a special part of your day. Simply grab your Bible, a journal, and a pen. Read the daily chapter given above and write in your journals using the S.O.A.P method. S.O.A.P stands for:
S ~ Scripture: write down a scripture that speaks to you
O ~ Observation: what do you observe about this chapter? What is God trying to tell you?
A ~ Application: how can you apply what you observed about this chapter to your life?
P ~ Prayer: write a prayer in your journal
* Next week’s post will be a challenge to change the statistic of one of a wife’s worst habitual attitudes.
Other Posts from this series:
One Thing a Wise Wife Knows Well About Intimacy
*Joining Wise Women